others have fun - and me?

i know it has been some time since i wrote the last sexy post. it's just that i feel pretty un-sexy at the moment. of course, i KNOW that it would be no big problem for me having sex with someone if i only wished. but THAT'S exactly the problem - it seems that i just don't have the big drive to do it, at the moment.

this is something highly unusual for me. it already happened to me for some weeks in november, and i thought it was because of that month (which really is the worst month of the year). i had some fun in between, but here we are again. it's a week before christmas, my mind is focussed on gifts and on how to get rid of most of the paper on my desk in 5 days. no space for sex.

even if i'm stimulated pretty much. i told you about my new neighbors, c. and m. c. is the one with the oh so perfect ass. c. and m. like to be VERY loud when having sex. m. must be good in bed, as he gives her long lasting orgasms. last night, i (i!!!!) was about to knock against the wall to make them a bit more quiet. god, i felt so OLD, and in the same time, i envied them so much for having so much fun. m., different to most men, is pretty loud himself, both are cursing when they cum. in the end, i rubbed myself to a quick and not very satisfying orgasm.

it's a problem when you realise that most of your sex fantasies are running around older memories, like around that business meeting which is now 2 years ago. i just NEED some new stimulation, i think i should join this new year's eve party which at least sounds to be a bit kinky. a german friend of mine invited me, so it might very well be i will be in duesseldorf by the end of this year. i know that his parties often end with sex. and even if i'm not yet in the mood, i think that might be an option. i will see, and i will let you know.